{"id":1545,"date":"2020-05-27T10:47:34","date_gmt":"2020-05-27T10:47:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dodoqazeti.rf-studio.net\/2020\/05\/27\/m%c9%99n-ozum-d%c9%99-doyulmus%c9%99m-usaqlarimla-kuc%c9%99d%c9%99-qalmisam\/"},"modified":"2020-05-27T10:47:34","modified_gmt":"2020-05-27T10:47:34","slug":"m%c9%99n-ozum-d%c9%99-doyulmus%c9%99m-usaqlarimla-kuc%c9%99d%c9%99-qalmisam","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dodoqezeti.az\/az\/2020\/05\/27\/m%c9%99n-ozum-d%c9%99-doyulmus%c9%99m-usaqlarimla-kuc%c9%99d%c9%99-qalmisam\/","title":{"rendered":"“M\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcm d\u0259 d\u00f6y\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m, u\u015faqlar\u0131mla k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259d\u0259 qalm\u0131\u015fam”"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\n\t\t\t\t “\/>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n

Qaynarinfo “T\u0259miz D\u00fcnya\u201d \u0130ctimai Birliyinin r\u0259hb\u0259ri Mehriban Zeynalovan\u0131n H\u0130T.Az-a m\u00fcsahib\u0259sini t\u0259qdim edir<\/span><\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

\u00ad\u2013 Mehriban xan\u0131m, qad\u0131nlar\u0131n h\u00fcququnu m\u00fcdafi\u0259 ed\u0259n, probleml\u0259rini h\u0259ll etm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan Mehriban xan\u0131m\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn qad\u0131n \u00f6mr\u00fc bu m\u00fcbariz\u0259nin i\u00e7ind\u0259 itib getmir ki?<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u2013 Prinsipc\u0259 se\u00e7imi \u00f6z\u00fcm el\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131 g\u00f6z\u0259 alm\u0131\u015fam v\u0259 \u015f\u0259xsi h\u0259yat\u0131m m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn 3-c\u00fc, 4-c\u00fc plana ke\u00e7ib. \u0130st\u0259nil\u0259n halda h\u0259r bir k\u0259s bu proses\u0259 \u015f\u00fcurlu olaraq qo\u015fulur. Etiraf ed\u0259k ki, maraq \u00e7\u0259r\u00e7iv\u0259sind\u0259 qo\u015fulanlar da olur. \u00c7\u00fcnki bu sah\u0259ni g\u0259lirli sah\u0259 hesab edirl\u0259r. M\u0259hz buna g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 tez-tez istiqam\u0259tini d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259n QHT-l\u0259r var, harda daha \u00e7ox g\u0259lir varsa ora \u00fcz tuturlar. Bel\u0259 olduqda o sah\u0259y\u0259 t\u00f6hf\u0259 verm\u0259k olmur. Ancaq ilkin g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259yirl\u0259r. El\u0259 s\u0131\u011f\u0131nacaq var ki, qad\u0131nlar ancaq orda qal\u0131r, geyiml\u0259 t\u0259min olunur, onlar\u0131n probleminin d\u0259rinliyin\u0259 getmirl\u0259r. Ancaq bu kimi m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259l\u0259rin k\u00f6k\u00fc onlar\u0131n u\u015faql\u0131\u011f\u0131na q\u0259d\u0259r gedib \u00e7\u0131xa bilir. Y\u0259ni biz ilkin g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcn\u00fc h\u0259ll etmirik, strukturu d\u0259yi\u015fdirm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r\u0131q. D\u00fczd\u00fcr, biz Allah deyilik ki, kimins\u0259 h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015fdir\u0259k. Ancaq onlar\u0131n beynind\u0259ki da\u011f\u0131n\u0131ql\u0131\u011f\u0131 y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fd\u0131r\u0131r\u0131q.<\/p>\n


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\u0130ndi s\u0131\u011f\u0131nacaqlar d\u0259bd\u0259dir, \u00e7oxlar\u0131 deyir ki, m\u0259n d\u0259 s\u0131\u011f\u0131nacaq a\u00e7\u0131ram. Ancaq bu, ciddi i\u015fdir, ba\u015fqalar\u0131n\u0131n h\u0259yat\u0131 qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda m\u0259suliyy\u0259t da\u015f\u0131y\u0131rsan. V\u0259 s\u0259n h\u0259r \u015feyi n\u0259zar\u0259td\u0259 saxlamaq g\u00fcc\u00fcnd\u0259 olmal\u0131san. S\u0131\u011f\u0131nacaq sosial ev deyil ki, kims\u0259 g\u0259lsin, bir ay qal\u0131b getsin. G\u0259l\u0259n \u015f\u0259xsi m\u00fcst\u0259qil h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 idar\u0259 etm\u0259y\u0259 y\u00f6n\u0259ltm\u0259y\u0259 bacarmal\u0131san. Burda h\u0259m d\u0259 day\u0259 olmamal\u0131san. B\u0259zil\u0259ri deyir ki, m\u0259n s\u0259nin h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015f\u0259c\u0259m, m\u0259n s\u0259ni xo\u015fb\u0259xt ed\u0259c\u0259m. Bu mesajlar da t\u0259hl\u00fck\u0259lidir. \u00c7\u00fcnki o adam yen\u0259 kimd\u0259ns\u0259 as\u0131l\u0131 v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259, yen\u0259 idar\u0259 edil\u0259n olur. Onun \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc v\u0259 u\u015faqlar\u0131n\u0131 idar\u0259 etm\u0259k g\u00fcc\u00fcnd\u0259 olmas\u0131n\u0131 bacarmaq \u00e7ox a\u011f\u0131r prosesdir. T\u0259bii ki, \u00f6z h\u0259yat\u0131m yoxdur. Bura s\u0259h\u0259r g\u0259lir\u0259m, bir d\u0259 gec\u0259 saat 12-d\u0259, 1-d\u0259 ev\u0259 gedir\u0259m. Yax\u015f\u0131 ki, u\u015faqlar\u0131m b\u00f6y\u00fckd\u00fcr, onlar m\u0259n\u0259 d\u0259st\u0259k verir. \u018fn pisi odur ki, onlar\u0131 da bu i\u015f\u0259 c\u0259lb el\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m, onlar da neqativl\u0259 y\u00fckl\u0259nib. G\u0259ncdirl\u0259r v\u0259 bu q\u0259d\u0259r m\u0259nfi y\u00fckl\u0259 ya\u015famaq onlar \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131r. \u018fn \u00e7ox bu m\u0259qamda a\u011fr\u0131 \u00e7\u0259kir\u0259m ki, \u00f6vladlar\u0131m\u0131 da bu i\u015f\u0259 qatm\u0131\u015fam. Amma bir t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n d\u0259, \u00fczl\u0259rind\u0259 o a\u011fr\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 sevinir\u0259m ki, insan h\u0259yat\u0131na bigan\u0259 deyill\u0259r. M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259n, m\u0259nim o\u011flum hans\u0131sa valideyn u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n\u0131 qoyub ged\u0259nd\u0259 bir h\u0259ft\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 g\u0259lmir. Onlar d\u0259st\u0259k verm\u0259s\u0259, m\u0259n \u00e7ox g\u00fccs\u00fcz olard\u0131m. \u00c7\u00fcnki ev\u0259 gec\u0259 1-d\u0259 ged\u0259s\u0259n, bunu normal qar\u015f\u0131las\u0131nlar, bu, b\u00f6y\u00fck \u015feydir. M\u0259n ged\u0259nd\u0259 evd\u0259 dava d\u00fc\u015fs\u0259ydi, bu, \u00e7\u0259tin olard\u0131. S\u0259n g\u0259r\u0259k birinci \u00f6z ail\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259rini qaydaya salasan. M\u0259nim evimd\u0259 g\u0259linim d\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc m\u0259nim q\u0131z\u0131m kimi hiss edir, o\u011flumla aralar\u0131na s\u00f6z d\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259 m\u0259n o\u011flumun t\u0259r\u0259fini tutmuram. M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259y\u0259 obyektiv bax\u0131r, h\u0259ll edir\u0259m. Bu da ail\u0259ni m\u00f6hk\u0259ml\u0259ndirir. Ail\u0259d\u0259 h\u00f6kmdar rolunu yox, dost rolunu oynay\u0131ram. H\u0259tta m\u0259n bir s\u0259h\u0259r evimi o\u011fluma ba\u011f\u0131\u015flad\u0131m ki qoy rahat olsun.<\/p>\n


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\n <\/p>\n

\u2013 Y\u0259ni siz m\u0259nim evimd\u0259 yox, m\u0259n sizd\u0259 qal\u0131ram…<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u2013 H\u0259… \u0130nsan\u0131q da, qoy o hissd\u0259n azad olsunlar. H\u0259m d\u0259 h\u0259yatda h\u0259r \u015fey olur, qoy sabah o prosedurlardan yaxa qurtars\u0131n. Bizd\u0259 q\u0131z-o\u011flan f\u0259rqi yoxdur. Q\u0131za da, o\u011flana da eyni hissi b\u0259sl\u0259yir\u0259m, onlar da bir-birl\u0259riyl\u0259 m\u00f6hk\u0259m dostdurlar. M\u0259n evd\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259ri t\u0259nziml\u0259y\u0259 bilm\u0259s\u0259m, burda da he\u00e7 n\u0259yi yoluna qoya bilm\u0259r\u0259m.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

\u2013 Mehriban xan\u0131m, bu i\u015fd\u0259 u\u015faqlar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n d\u0259st\u0259yind\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131n\u0131z. Amma m\u0259nc\u0259, ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 h\u00f6kml\u00fc bir ki\u015fi, ail\u0259 ba\u015f\u00e7\u0131s\u0131 olsayd\u0131, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fc bu s\u0131\u011f\u0131naca\u011fa bu q\u0259d\u0259r h\u0259sr ed\u0259, azad ola bilm\u0259zdiniz. M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259n, h\u0259r ki\u015fi raz\u0131 olmur ki, onun h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131 ev\u0259 gec\u0259 saat 1-d\u0259 g\u0259lsin. S\u0259b\u0259b n\u0259 olur-olsun…<\/b><\/p>\n

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\u2013 Rejim el\u0259dir ki, hans\u0131sa ki\u015fi bunu q\u0259bul etm\u0259y\u0259 bil\u0259r. Amma o q\u0259d\u0259r u\u011furlu qad\u0131nlar var, h\u0259yat yolda\u015flar\u0131 onlara d\u0259st\u0259k olur. M\u0259nim taleyim bel\u0259 g\u0259tirib ki, h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131m yoxdur, r\u0259hm\u0259t\u0259 gedib. Amma ail\u0259d\u0259n m\u00fctl\u0259q \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 d\u0259st\u0259k olmal\u0131d\u0131r. D\u00fczd\u00fcr, biz qad\u0131n azadl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n imitasiyas\u0131 il\u0259 m\u0259\u015f\u011fuluq, m\u00fctl\u0259q ki\u015finin raz\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 al\u0131nmal\u0131 olur. Bir var ki, m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 \u00fcmumi raz\u0131l\u0131\u011fa g\u0259lirs\u0259n, bir d\u0259 var ki\u015fi h\u00f6km\u00fcyl\u0259 h\u0259ll olunur. Bizd\u0259 \u00fcmumi raz\u0131l\u0131\u011fa g\u0259lm\u0259k \u0259n\u0259n\u0259si \u00e7ox azd\u0131r. Qad\u0131n g\u00fccl\u00fcd\u00fcrs\u0259, qad\u0131n h\u00f6km etm\u0259yi sevir, ki\u015fi g\u00fccl\u00fcd\u00fcrs\u0259, ki\u015fi. \u00c7ox adam m\u0259nim bu q\u0259d\u0259r m\u00fclayim olma\u011f\u0131ma t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259nir. H\u00f6kml\u0259 idar\u0259etm\u0259nin \u0259leyhin\u0259y\u0259m. M\u0259n sevir\u0259m ki, m\u0259nim i\u015f\u00e7il\u0259rim m\u0259niml\u0259 b\u0259rab\u0259r dayans\u0131nlar. H\u0259r i\u015f\u00e7i d\u0259 bunu ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u0259 bilmir, bu da \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131\u011f\u0131n evd\u0259n, ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n t\u0259rbiy\u0259d\u0259n as\u0131l\u0131 olur. El\u0259 i\u015f\u00e7il\u0259r var \u00f6z \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259mir, yeni ara\u015fd\u0131rmalardan x\u0259b\u0259ri yoxdur, amma \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc m\u00fct\u0259x\u0259ssis hesab el\u0259yir. D\u00fczd\u00fc, m\u0259n n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r buna qar\u015f\u0131 olsam da, c\u0259miyy\u0259t yar\u0131m\u00e7\u0131qlar\u0131 sevir v\u0259 onlar\u0131 \u00f6n\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kir.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

\u2013 Yeri g\u0259lmi\u015fk\u0259n, sizin ixtisas\u0131n\u0131z n\u0259dir, bu s\u0131\u011f\u0131naca\u011f\u0131 qurana q\u0259d\u0259r hans\u0131 i\u015fl\u0259rd\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131s\u0131n\u0131z?<\/b><\/p>\n

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\u2013 G\u0259nc\u0259d\u0259 Q\u0259mb\u0259r H\u00fcseynli ad\u0131na orta ixtisas musiqi m\u0259kt\u0259bini bitirmi\u015f\u0259m. 8 il musiqi m\u00fc\u0259llimi i\u015fl\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, m\u0259nd\u0259 \u0259vv\u0259ld\u0259n h\u0259v\u0259s olub, z\u0259if u\u015faqlarla d\u0259rsd\u0259n sonra ayr\u0131ca m\u0259\u015f\u011ful olurdum. 8 ild\u0259n sonra g\u00f6rd\u00fcm ki, yox, bu, m\u0259nim sah\u0259m deyil, verdiyimi geri ala bilmir\u0259m. Sonra Tarix Diyar\u015f\u00fcnasl\u0131q muzeyind\u0259 m\u00fcdir m\u00fcavini i\u015fin\u0259 d\u00fcz\u0259ldim, orda da sakit dayanm\u0131rd\u0131m. M\u00fczakir\u0259l\u0259r a\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131m, \u00fcst\u00fc oxunmayan da\u015flar \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259yirdim, x\u0259rit\u0259l\u0259ri b\u0259rpa etdirirdim. Sonra ail\u0259 qurdum, i\u015fd\u0259n getdim. Sonra qoruqda, bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t sonra redaksiyada i\u015fl\u0259dim. Daha sonra ba\u011f\u00e7a m\u00fcdiri ke\u00e7dim. Orda da eyni t\u0259\u015f\u0259bb\u00fcsl\u0259r… 94-c\u00fc ild\u0259 is\u0259 g\u0259ldim Bak\u0131ya.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

\u2013 G\u0259nc\u0259d\u0259ki h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131z\u0131, i\u015f-g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fc qoyub bird\u0259f\u0259lik k\u00f6\u00e7d\u00fcn\u00fcz Bak\u0131ya. Niy\u0259?<\/b><\/p>\n

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\u2013 H\u0259, h\u0259r \u015feyi qoyub g\u0259ldim. Anamgil t\u0259kid el\u0259dil\u0259r ki, getm\u0259, amma dedim yox… G\u0259ldim Qad\u0131n H\u00fcquqlar\u0131n\u0131 M\u00fcdafi\u0259 C\u0259miyy\u0259tin\u0259. Novella xan\u0131m deyirdi g\u0259l-get. Bu i\u015fi sevdim, ba\u015flad\u0131m qad\u0131nlar\u0131n h\u00fcququnu m\u00fcdafi\u0259 el\u0259m\u0259y\u0259, m\u0259hk\u0259m\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m. 97-ci ild\u0259 birliyin daxilind\u0259 bu s\u0131\u011f\u0131naca\u011f\u0131 yaratd\u0131m. O vaxt zorak\u0131l\u0131q \u00e7ox ba\u015f verirdi, amma he\u00e7 kim bu bar\u0259d\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fm\u0131rd\u0131. M\u0259n ba\u015flad\u0131m dan\u0131\u015fma\u011fa. 2002-ci ild\u0259n m\u00fcst\u0259qil \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m. \u00c7\u00fcnki h\u0259d\u0259f qrupum h\u0259ssas idi v\u0259 o c\u0259miyy\u0259td\u0259 el\u0259 adamlar var idi ki, m\u0259nim etdikl\u0259riml\u0259 he\u00e7 c\u00fcr bar\u0131\u015fa bilmirdil\u0259r. H\u0259tta rayon t\u0259\u015fkilatlar\u0131ndan biri x\u0259b\u0259r g\u00f6nd\u0259rmi\u015fdi ki, Mehriban ordan \u00e7\u0131xmasa, biz t\u0259\u015fkilatdan \u00e7\u0131xaca\u011f\u0131q. Bel\u0259… Getdiyim yerl\u0259rd\u0259 rahat olmam\u0131\u015fam he\u00e7 vaxt, rahat adam deyil\u0259m. M\u00fctl\u0259q yeni n\u0259 is\u0259 axtar\u0131ram.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

\u2013 Bu s\u0131\u011f\u0131nacaqda da rahat deyilsiniz?<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u2013 Yox, he\u00e7 burda da rahat deyil\u0259m. \u018fvv\u0259lc\u0259 m\u0259nim birotaql\u0131 evim vard\u0131, problemli qad\u0131nlar\u0131 ora q\u0259bul edirdim. Sonra o evi sat\u0131b, onun puluna iki ev ald\u0131m. He\u00e7 kim dey\u0259 bilm\u0259z ki, m\u0259n bu t\u0259\u015fkilat hesab\u0131na ev alm\u0131\u015fam, bu, m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olan \u015fey deyil. \u018fksin\u0259, qazand\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131n 10 faizini \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 x\u0259rcl\u0259mi\u015f\u0259ms\u0259, qalan\u0131n\u0131 bura s\u0259rf el\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m.<\/p>\n


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Bir vaxt g\u00f6rd\u00fcm t\u0259\u015fkilatla ev bir yerd\u0259 m\u00fcmk\u00fcn deyil. H\u0259tta r\u0259fiq\u0259l\u0259rim danlay\u0131rd\u0131m ki, u\u015faqlar\u0131n burda x\u0259st\u0259liy\u0259 tutulacaq. G\u00f6zl\u0259rini a\u00e7andan s\u0131\u011f\u0131nacaqda olan \u015f\u0259xsl\u0259rl\u0259 \u00fcnsiyy\u0259td\u0259 olublar.<\/p>\n


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\u0130ndi d\u0259 model-s\u0131\u011f\u0131nacaq etm\u0259k ist\u0259yir\u0259m. H\u0259rd\u0259n xaricd\u0259n m\u00fct\u0259x\u0259ssisl\u0259r g\u0259lirl\u0259r, biz\u0259 n\u0259yis\u0259 \u00f6yr\u0259tm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rlar. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrl\u0259r ki, biz he\u00e7 n\u0259yi bacarm\u0131r\u0131q. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 standartlara uy\u011fun s\u0131\u011f\u0131nacaq formala\u015fd\u0131rmaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m. Art\u0131q haz\u0131rl\u0131qlar gedir. Yax\u015f\u0131 m\u00fct\u0259x\u0259ssisl\u0259r haz\u0131rlamaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m ki, \u00f6z\u00fcm d\u0259 ara\u015fd\u0131rmalarla m\u0259\u015f\u011ful olum. S\u0131\u011f\u0131nacaq art\u0131q dar \u00e7\u0259r\u00e7iv\u0259dir v\u0259 m\u0259n ora s\u0131\u011fm\u0131ram. Daha b\u00f6y\u00fck i\u015fl\u0259r g\u00f6rm\u0259k potensial\u0131m var, rayonlara ged\u0259, qad\u0131nlarla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u0259 bil\u0259r\u0259m. Kims\u0259 burda bu i\u015fl\u0259rin ba\u015f\u0131nda olmal\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

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\n <\/p>\n

\u2013 Mehriban xan\u0131m, \u0259ks\u0259r\u0259n qad\u0131n h\u00fcquqlar\u0131n\u0131n m\u00fcdafi\u0259si il\u0259 m\u0259\u015f\u011ful olan qad\u0131nlar\u0131n \u00f6zl\u0259rinin h\u0259yat\u0131nda incik m\u0259qamlar olur: q\u0131z \u00f6vlad kimi, bac\u0131 kimi, h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131 kimi, g\u0259lin kimi, ana kimi. Sizin \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fc d\u0259 bir qad\u0131n kimi incidibl\u0259r y\u0259qin ki…<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u2013 M\u0259nim \u00f6z\u00fcm d\u0259 o \u00e7\u0259tinlikl\u0259rl\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131la\u015fm\u0131\u015fam ki… Evim olmay\u0131b, u\u015faqlar\u0131mla k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259d\u0259 qalm\u0131\u015fam. Kimins\u0259 qap\u0131s\u0131na getmi\u015f\u0259m, qap\u0131n\u0131 \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 a\u00e7may\u0131blar. \u00d6z qohumlar\u0131m bel\u0259. Bel\u0259 \u015feyl\u0259r \u00e7ox olub. H\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131n el\u0259 bir k\u0259simi olub ki, \u00e7ox a\u011fr\u0131l\u0131 ya\u015fam\u0131\u015fam. 7-8 il… T\u0259bii, zorak\u0131l\u0131\u011fa da m\u0259ruz qalm\u0131\u015fam, d\u00f6y\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m d\u0259, m\u0259n\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 \u00e7ox pis r\u0259ftar olunub, incidilmi\u015f\u0259m. Ancaq bu incikliyi \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259 da\u015f\u0131yanlar sa\u011flam \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 qad\u0131n h\u00fcquqlar\u0131n\u0131n m\u00fcdafi\u0259si il\u0259 m\u0259\u015f\u011ful ola bilm\u0259zl\u0259r. O travma s\u0259n\u0259 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 mane olacaq. \u018fvv\u0259lc\u0259 daxilini t\u0259mizl\u0259m\u0259lis\u0259n, \u00f6z\u00fcn sa\u011falmal\u0131san. M\u0259n \u00e7ox travma alm\u0131\u015fam, amma bu g\u00fcn u\u011furumun s\u0259b\u0259bi o travmalardan xials olma\u011f\u0131md\u0131r. Q\u0259z\u0259b v\u0259 aqressiya il\u0259 dolu olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131mdan qad\u0131nlar\u0131 m\u00fcdafi\u0259 etm\u0259y\u0259 g\u00fcc\u00fcm \u00e7at\u0131r. Ba\u015fqas\u0131n\u0131 a\u015fa\u011f\u0131lamaqla \u0259ld\u0259 etmir\u0259m \u00fcst\u00fcnl\u00fcy\u00fc, bu, \u00e7ox vacib m\u0259qamd\u0131r. Qad\u0131n h\u00fcquqlar\u0131n\u0131n m\u00fcdafi\u0259\u00e7isi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn bu kimi davran\u0131\u015f v\u0259 yana\u015fma yolverilm\u0259zdir.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

\u2013 Mehriban xan\u0131m, b\u0259s kim d\u00f6y\u00fcb sizi?..<\/b><\/p>\n

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\u2013 Atam d\u00f6ym\u0259yib. O, m\u0259n\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 \u00e7ox h\u0259ssas olub. N\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r q\u0259ddar, m\u00fchafiz\u0259kar adam olsa da, m\u0259ni o\u011flanlar\u0131ndan se\u00e7irdi. Bizi d\u00f6ym\u0259zdi, amma bir d\u0259f\u0259 baxanda az qal\u0131rd\u0131 qorxumuzdan \u00f6l\u0259k. Evin qaydalar\u0131 var idi, ne\u00e7\u0259d\u0259 getm\u0259k olar, ne\u00e7\u0259d\u0259 g\u0259lm\u0259k olar. Amma m\u0259n\u0259 ba\u015fqa sevgisi var idi. Halbuki m\u0259n do\u011fulanda m\u0259ni tullamaq ist\u0259yirmi\u015f. M\u0259n d\u0259 onun t\u0259l\u0259bl\u0259rin\u0259 cavab ver\u0259n \u00f6vlad olmu\u015fam. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 balacayd\u0131m, ke\u00e7dim yataq ota\u011f\u0131na, g\u00fczg\u00fcn\u00fcn qaba\u011f\u0131nda r\u0259qs el\u0259m\u0259k ist\u0259dim. Bird\u0259n g\u00fczg\u00fcd\u0259 atam\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Atam uzan\u0131b m\u0259n\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131. M\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259ldi ki, atam m\u0259n\u0259 q\u0259z\u0259bl\u0259nib. O-bu – m\u0259n h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 r\u0259qs el\u0259y\u0259 bilmir\u0259m. \u00dcr\u0259yim gedir g\u00f6z\u0259l r\u0259qs ed\u0259nl\u0259r g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259, amma m\u0259clisl\u0259rd\u0259 oynama\u011fa \u0259lim qalxm\u0131r.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

Bir d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 d\u0131rna\u011f\u0131ma q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 lak vurmu\u015fdum, atam anama demi\u015fdi, o n\u0259dir, el\u0259 bir d\u0131rna\u011f\u0131yla le\u015f e\u015fib. El\u0259 ondan b\u0259ri h\u0259m d\u0259 q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 boya \u00e7\u0259k\u0259 bilmir\u0259m. Atam\u0131n xo\u015funa g\u0259lm\u0259y\u0259n \u015feyl\u0259rd\u0259n imtina etmi\u015f\u0259m.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

\u2013 Yax\u015f\u0131, b\u0259s sonra n\u0259 oldu? Sizi kiml\u0259r incitdi?<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u2013 N\u0259 bilim, bu, el\u0259 s\u00f6hb\u0259tdir ki…<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

\u2013 B\u0259lk\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fas\u0131n\u0131z, sizin kimi o \u00e7\u0259tinlikl\u0259rd\u0259n ke\u00e7\u0259n, d\u00f6y\u00fcl\u0259n qad\u0131nlar g\u00f6rs\u00fcnl\u0259r ki, bu, h\u0259yat\u0131n sonu dem\u0259k deyil, aya\u011fa qalxmaq olur…<\/b><\/p>\n

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\u2013 O vaxt el\u0259 \u00e7\u0259tin idi ki… 90-c\u0131 ill\u0259r idi. S\u0259nin evd\u0259 u\u015faqlar\u0131n ac-susuz, \u00e7\u0259tin v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259 v\u0259 s\u0259n ke\u00e7id etm\u0259liydin. Deyirdim, y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015fd\u0131rma\u011fa bir yer olsa, m\u0259n\u0259 d\u0259 x\u0259b\u0259r el\u0259yin. S\u0131\u011f\u0131nacaq olmasa da, Novella xan\u0131mgilin ofisind\u0259 qal\u0131rd\u0131m. Y\u00fczl\u0259rl\u0259 qap\u0131lardan qovulandan, k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 qalandan sonra bu, m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn b\u00f6y\u00fck d\u0259st\u0259k idi.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

Bel\u0259 ke\u00e7id m\u0259rh\u0259l\u0259sind\u0259 genetik kodlar da \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6st\u0259rir. Atam \u00e7ox qo\u00e7aq, t\u0259\u015fkilat\u00e7\u0131 idi. \u0130kincisi t\u0259hsilin olmal\u0131d\u0131r. \u00dc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fcs\u00fc d\u0259 t\u0259rbiy\u0259 m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259sidir. S\u0259nin daxili \u0259xlaq\u0131n imkan verirmi ki, s\u0259n ya \u0259ziyy\u0259t \u00e7\u0259k\u0259s\u0259n, ya da hans\u0131sa ba\u015fqa yolu se\u00e7\u0259s\u0259n. B\u0259zi hallarda t\u0259l\u0259sk\u0259nlik adam\u0131 \u00e7a\u015fd\u0131r\u0131r. Ola bilsin m\u0259nim s\u0259birli olma\u011f\u0131m da \u00f6z rolunu oynad\u0131. Bir d\u0259 \u00f6vladlar\u0131m\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fctoxlu\u011fu. El\u0259 olurdu biz g\u00fcn \u0259rzind\u0259 bir d\u00f6n\u0259r yeyirdik, he\u00e7 vaxt m\u0259nd\u0259n he\u00e7 n\u0259 ist\u0259mirdil\u0259r. Onlara minn\u0259tdaram.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

H\u0259m d\u0259 ist\u0259nil\u0259n m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259d\u0259 Allah\u0131n m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259l\u0259ri var. O m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n biri d\u0259 m\u0259nim ev alma\u011f\u0131md\u0131r. Bir d\u0259 q\u00fcrur… Yalan\u00e7\u0131 iddia yox, q\u00fcrur. M\u0259n he\u00e7 vaxt qar\u015f\u0131ma lider olma\u011f\u0131 qoymam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m, sad\u0259c\u0259, c\u0259miyy\u0259t\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259nl\u0259r\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259k edirdim. He\u00e7 n\u0259yi \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 \u0259skiklik bilmirdim, oran\u0131n tualetin\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r yuyub-t\u0259mizl\u0259yirdim. M\u0259n h\u0259min vaxt h\u0259d\u0259f m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n el\u0259m\u0259k hayda deyildim, ba\u015fqa \u015fey bar\u0259d\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u0259 bilmirdim.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

Q\u00fcrurlu olma\u011f\u0131m\u0131 yek\u0259xanal\u0131q kimi qiym\u0259tl\u0259ndirs\u0259l\u0259r d\u0259, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr\u0259m ki, bu, vacibdir. M\u0259n h\u0259r \u015fey\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 h\u0259r adama \u0259yilm\u0259r\u0259m. Kimins\u0259 imkan\u0131, pulu var dey\u0259 m\u0259ni a\u015fa\u011f\u0131laya bilm\u0259z. T\u0259rs deyil\u0259m, kinli deyil\u0259m, ba\u011f\u0131\u015flayanam, amma q\u00fcrurumu s\u0131nd\u0131rmaram.<\/p>\n


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– Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131za g\u0259tiril\u0259nl\u0259rd\u0259n d\u0259 m\u0259hz q\u00fcrurlu oldu\u011funuza g\u00f6r\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmaq ist\u0259mirsiniz, yoxsa kompleksiniz var, ya a\u011fr\u0131d\u0131r sizi o g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fmaq?<\/b><\/p>\n

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\u2013 Daxili kompleksim var. M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259n, anam\u0131n ikim\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259li evi var idi, amma m\u0259n ora qay\u0131tmad\u0131m. Bilirdim, qay\u0131dan kimi m\u0259ni danlayacaqd\u0131 ki, m\u0259n s\u0259nin \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn filan \u015feyi el\u0259dim, amma s\u0259n bel\u0259 el\u0259din. M\u0259n indi s\u0259nin y\u00fck\u00fcn\u00fc \u00e7\u0259k\u0259c\u0259m. \u00c7ox ac\u0131nacaql\u0131 v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259ydim, amma o ev\u0259 qay\u0131tmad\u0131m. \u00c7\u00fcnki s\u00f6z g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u0259 bilmir\u0259m. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 q\u00fcrurdand\u0131, n\u0259 bilim…<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

M\u0259nim k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 qalma\u011f\u0131ma s\u0259b\u0259b is\u0259 sad\u0259l\u00f6vhl\u00fcy\u00fcm idi. Evimi satm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m, pulunu da o\u011furlatm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. \u00d6z g\u00fcnah\u0131m idi. Evi alan adamlar m\u0259n k\u00f6\u00e7m\u0259mi\u015f g\u0259lib evd\u0259 ya\u015fad\u0131lar ki, getm\u0259y\u0259 yerimiz yoxdur. El\u0259c\u0259 pul o\u011furland\u0131 v\u0259 m\u0259n 7 il o v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259 qald\u0131m. Pul m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259sind\u0259 \u00e7ox m\u0259suliyy\u0259tsiz\u0259m. Bir d\u0259 ham\u0131ya tez inan\u0131ram.<\/p>\n


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\u2013 Mehriban xan\u0131m, bir ne\u00e7\u0259 il \u0259vv\u0259l siz aksiya \u00e7\u0259r\u00e7iv\u0259sind\u0259 g\u0259linlik geyinmi\u015fdiniz. G\u0259linlik geyinm\u0259yiniz q\u0131naqla qar\u015f\u0131land\u0131. Bu, o dem\u0259kdir ki, sizin v\u0259 ya siz ya\u015fda olan qad\u0131nlar\u0131n ail\u0259 qurmas\u0131 normal q\u0259bul edilmir.<\/b><\/p>\n

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\u2013 S\u00f6hb\u0259t ondan gedir ki, ki\u015fi h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131 \u00f6l\u0259nd\u0259n sonra evl\u0259n\u0259 bil\u0259r, xo\u015fb\u0259xt ola bil\u0259r, 20 ya\u015f\u0131nda q\u0131z ala bil\u0259r. Ki\u015fiy\u0259 m\u00fctl\u0259q baxmaq laz\u0131md\u0131r. \u018fg\u0259r s\u00f6hb\u0259t baxmaqdan gedirs\u0259, bu d\u0259qiq\u0259 texnika inki\u015faf edib, paltaryuyan da var, qabyuyan da. Y\u0259ni m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259 baxmaq m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259sidirs\u0259, ki\u015fi bunlara ala v\u0259 qad\u0131n\u0131 \u0259v\u0259z ed\u0259 bil\u0259r. Amma m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259 ba\u015fqad\u0131r, bizim c\u0259miyy\u0259td\u0259 ki\u015fiy\u0259 h\u0259r \u015fey olar, qad\u0131na yox. Qad\u0131n\u0131n da xo\u015fb\u0259xt olmaq haqq\u0131 var. O ba\u015fqa m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259dir ki, qad\u0131n n\u00f6vb\u0259ti d\u0259f\u0259 \u0259r\u0259 ged\u0259nd\u0259 onun u\u015faqlar\u0131 travma ala bil\u0259r. Onda m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259ri el\u0259 qurmal\u0131san, \u00f6vladlar anlamal\u0131d\u0131r ki, ana onlar\u0131 b\u00f6y\u00fcd\u00fcb v\u0259 o da \u00f6z h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 qura bil\u0259r. Bu, ail\u0259d\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fck g\u0259rginlik yaradacaqsa, bunu t\u0259nziml\u0259m\u0259k laz\u0131md\u0131r.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

Bizd\u0259 \u00f6vladlar da valideynin yenid\u0259n ail\u0259 qurmas\u0131na \u00e7ox pis bax\u0131r, bu da var. Ondan imtina ed\u0259 bil\u0259rl\u0259r, onu \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u0259 bil\u0259r. Bizim \u015f\u00fcurumuzda var ki, valideyn m\u0259nimdir, m\u0259nd\u0259n ba\u015fqa he\u00e7 kim\u0259 m\u0259xsus ola bilm\u0259z.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

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\n <\/p>\n

\u2013 Y\u0259ni \u00f6vladlar da c\u0259miyy\u0259t kimi h\u0259tta r\u0259smi \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 evl\u0259nm\u0259yi d\u0259 \u0259xlaqdan k\u0259nar hesab edirl\u0259r.<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u2013 H\u0259, \u0259xlaqs\u0131zl\u0131q say\u0131rlar. Biz f\u0259xr el\u0259yirik ki, anam 20 ya\u015f\u0131ndan dul qal\u0131b v\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 bax\u0131b. Bu, pis \u015fey deyil. Amma o qad\u0131n\u0131n b\u00fct\u00fcn h\u0259yat\u0131 m\u0259\u015f\u0259qq\u0259tl\u0259 ke\u00e7ir. Ancaq qulluq\u00e7uluq edir. \u00d6vlad b\u00f6y\u00fcd\u00fcr v\u0259 ba\u015fqa he\u00e7 bir \u015fey\u0259 haqq\u0131 olmur. \u00d6vladdan sonra da n\u0259v\u0259l\u0259r\u0259, n\u0259tic\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 baxmal\u0131d\u0131r. Amma \u00f6vlad bir d\u0259f\u0259 soru\u015fmur ki, b\u0259lk\u0259 s\u0259nin n\u0259y\u0259s\u0259 ehtiyac\u0131n var? M\u0259n fiziki ehtiyac\u0131 n\u0259z\u0259rd\u0259 tutmuram. \u0130nsan kimi… \u00d6vladlar b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u00fcr, anayla s\u00f6hb\u0259t\u0259 can atm\u0131r, hesab edir ki, onunla s\u00f6hb\u0259t ed\u0259c\u0259k b\u0259rab\u0259rlikd\u0259 deyil. Bizd\u0259 b\u0259zi valideynl\u0259r \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc h\u0259r \u015feyd\u0259n m\u0259hrum edir v\u0259 informasiyas\u0131z qal\u0131r, fikirl\u0259r toqqu\u015fur. M\u0259n q\u0131z\u0131mla b\u00fct\u00fcn m\u00fcasir \u015feyl\u0259rd\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fa bilir\u0259m. \u00c7\u00fcnki x\u0259b\u0259rim var.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

B\u0259z\u0259n ata evl\u0259ndiyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 ondan imtina ed\u0259n \u00f6vladlar olur. H\u0259r \u015feyi iqtisadiyyatla ba\u011flay\u0131rlar ki, qarn\u0131n\u0131n yem\u0259yini verir\u0259m, n\u0259 ist\u0259yirs\u0259n? Bu, eqoizmd\u0259n ba\u015fqa bir \u015fey deyil.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

\u2013 Bizd\u0259, \u00fcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259, adamlar niy\u0259 bu q\u0259d\u0259r aqressivdir? \u00c7\u00fcnki onlara insan kimi yox, v\u0259zif\u0259 da\u015f\u0131y\u0131c\u0131s\u0131 kimi yana\u015f\u0131rlar: s\u0259n ki\u015fis\u0259n, g\u00fccl\u00fc olmal\u0131san, atasan, bizi h\u0259r \u015feyl\u0259 t\u0259min etm\u0259lis\u0259n, s\u0259n qad\u0131nsan, s\u0259n anasan, s\u0259n bo\u015fanm\u0131\u015fsan, s\u0259n dul qad\u0131nsan… \u0130nsan \u00fcr\u0259yi, m\u0259n\u0259vi d\u00fcnyas\u0131, arzular\u0131 n\u0259z\u0259r\u0259 al\u0131nm\u0131r.<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u2013 O q\u0259d\u0259r ki\u015fi var ki, bo\u015fanm\u0131\u015f qad\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259lic\u0259sin\u0259 sevib, amma s\u0131rf bo\u015fand\u0131\u011f\u0131na g\u00f6r\u0259 onunla evl\u0259nm\u0259yib. \u00d6z\u00fc d\u0259 xo\u015fb\u0259xt olmay\u0131b. Sevm\u0259yi \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 r\u0259va bilib, amma qad\u0131n n\u0259 vaxtsa evli oldu\u011funa g\u00f6r\u0259 onunla evl\u0259nm\u0259yi \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 r\u0259va bilm\u0259yib. Bu da psixoloji amill\u0259r v\u0259 steorotipl\u0259rl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

\u2013 Mehriban xan\u0131m, el\u0259 bir m\u0259qam \u00e7ata bil\u0259rmi, evin d\u0259, s\u0131\u011f\u0131naca\u011f\u0131n da i\u015fini bir k\u0259nara atas\u0131n\u0131z ki, yoruldum art\u0131q?<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u2013 Dem\u0259yin\u0259 deyir\u0259m, amma ata bilmir\u0259m, k\u0259narda otura bilmir\u0259m. Bilmir\u0259m bel\u0259 davam ed\u0259c\u0259m, ya yox, el\u0259 ola bil\u0259r ki, tamam ba\u015fqa bir i\u015fl\u0259 m\u0259\u015f\u011ful olma\u011fa ba\u015flay\u0131m. Son zamanlar fikirl\u0259\u015fir\u0259m, deyir\u0259m, b\u0259lk\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc ba\u015fqa yerd\u0259 yoxlay\u0131m. Bu sah\u0259d\u0259 kifay\u0259t q\u0259d\u0259r t\u00f6hf\u0259 vermi\u015f\u0259m. \u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fc bu m\u00fcbariz\u0259y\u0259 h\u0259sr el\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m v\u0259 aln\u0131m a\u00e7\u0131qd\u0131r. D\u00fczd\u00fc deyirl\u0259r, ya\u015f m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259si var. Amma m\u0259n el\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fcr\u0259m.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

\u2013 Xarici \u00f6lk\u0259y\u0259 k\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcb, orda i\u015fl\u0259m\u0259k ist\u0259y\u0259rsiniz?<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u2013 Dil bilmir\u0259m, bils\u0259m onu da el\u0259y\u0259r\u0259m. M\u0259ni Va\u015finqtona d\u0259v\u0259t etmi\u015fdil\u0259r, amma dil bilm\u0259diyimd\u0259n al\u0131nmad\u0131.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

\u2013 N\u0259 \u0259c\u0259b \u00f6yr\u0259nmirsiniz?<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u2013 Ne\u00e7\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 c\u0259hd el\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. Amma beynim o q\u0259d\u0259r informasiyayla, probleml\u0259 y\u00fckl\u00fcd\u00fcr ki… M\u0259\u015f\u011ful oldu\u011fum yerd\u0259 50 d\u0259f\u0259 qap\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131r-\u00f6rt\u00fcl\u00fcr.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

Yoxsa xaric\u0259 bu g\u00fcn d\u0259 ged\u0259r\u0259m, getm\u0259k problem deyil m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn. H\u0259m d\u0259 bir ba\u011fl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131m var. D\u0259f\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 xaricd\u0259 olmu\u015fam, qalm\u0131\u015fam. Amma m\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lir ki, orda bu hissi ala bilm\u0259r\u0259m. Orda \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc t\u0259nha hiss el\u0259y\u0259r\u0259m. Burda, he\u00e7 olmasa, i\u00e7ind\u0259 t\u0259nhal\u0131q hissi olanda kimins\u0259 yan\u0131na gedirs\u0259n, b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrs\u0259n.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

O q\u0259d\u0259r m\u0259qam olur, g\u00f6r\u00fcrs\u0259n g\u00fcv\u0259ndiyin adamlar s\u0259ni yar\u0131 yolda qoyur. Onda ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrs\u0259n ki, kim\u0259s\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 imtina etm\u0259li deyils\u0259n. He\u00e7 kim d\u0259 bunun m\u00fcqabilind\u0259 s\u0259n\u0259 “sa\u011f ol\u201d demir. Bu g\u00fcn he\u00e7 n\u0259yin uzun\u00f6m\u00fcrl\u00fc olaca\u011f\u0131na \u0259min deyils\u0259n: n\u0259 dostluq, n\u0259 yolda\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131n, n\u0259 ail\u0259nin… Bu bax\u0131mdan hans\u0131sa t\u0259klifl\u0259r g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 kim\u0259s\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 qurban verm\u0259k laz\u0131m deyil, \u00f6z yolunla getm\u0259lis\u0259n. Bu, he\u00e7 d\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 qiym\u0259tl\u0259ndirilmir, s\u0259h\u0259r s\u0259n\u0259 deyirl\u0259r ki, etm\u0259y\u0259ydin. H\u0259yat bel\u0259dir. Onda fikirl\u0259\u015firs\u0259n ki, g\u0259r\u0259k he\u00e7 n\u0259d\u0259n imtina etm\u0259zdin, bu i\u015fl\u0259ri d\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u0259y\u0259ydin.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

Psixoloji as\u0131l\u0131l\u0131q da var, el\u0259 bilir\u0259m m\u0259n xaricd\u0259 \u00e7ox laz\u0131ms\u0131zam. Amma q\u0259fil q\u0259rar ver\u0259n\u0259m. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259nilm\u0259d\u0259n ged\u0259 d\u0259 bil\u0259r\u0259m.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

M\u0259ni he\u00e7 kim \u00e7\u0259r\u00e7iv\u0259y\u0259 sala bilmir. Amma m\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc kifay\u0259t q\u0259d\u0259r \u00e7\u0259r\u00e7iv\u0259d\u0259 saxlay\u0131ram. Fikirl\u0259\u015fir\u0259m ki, n\u0259s\u0259 el\u0259s\u0259m, s\u0131\u011f\u0131nacaqdak\u0131 qad\u0131nlara \u00f6rn\u0259k ola bilm\u0259r\u0259m. M\u0259n g\u0259zm\u0259kd\u0259n d\u0259, \u0259lav\u0259 pul x\u0259rcl\u0259m\u0259kd\u0259n d\u0259 imtina edir\u0259m, deyir\u0259m onlara g\u0259r\u0259k olar. \u00d6z\u00fcm\u0259 m\u0259hdudiyy\u0259t qoyuram. \u00c7\u00fcnki indi o q\u0259d\u0259r pul da yoxdur, amma ehtiyac b\u00f6y\u00fckd\u00fcr. Y\u0259ni \u00f6z\u00fcmd\u0259n, \u00f6vlad\u0131mdan k\u0259sir\u0259m. Amma bilir\u0259m ki, he\u00e7 kim sabah buna g\u00f6r\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 “sa\u011f ol\u201d dem\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k. \u0130ttiham el\u0259m\u0259sinl\u0259r, t\u0259\u015f\u0259kk\u00fcr laz\u0131m deyil.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

\u00c7ox b\u00f6y\u00fck arzumdur, hans\u0131sa \u00f6lk\u0259l\u0259ri g\u0259zim, g\u00f6r\u00fcm. Amma g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m ki, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 q\u0131ya bilmir\u0259m.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

\u2013 Dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z, s\u0259sinizd\u0259, ah\u0259nginizd\u0259 bir yor\u011funluq var. N\u0259dir bunun s\u0259b\u0259bi?<\/b><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u2013 M\u0259n h\u0259r\u0259 d\u0259f\u0259 yalan, x\u0259yan\u0259t g\u00f6rd\u00fckc\u0259 s\u0131n\u0131ram. Kims\u0259 m\u0259nim yan\u0131mda yalan dan\u0131\u015fanda bir h\u0259ft\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259 bilmir\u0259m. Deyir\u0259m, m\u0259n siz\u0259 yalan dan\u0131\u015fm\u0131ram, siz d\u0259 m\u0259nim yan\u0131mda n\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z-dan\u0131\u015f\u0131n, amma yalan yox. M\u0259nim hal\u0131m bu t\u0259l\u0259bl\u0259r\u0259 uy\u011fun deyil. C\u0259miyy\u0259t ba\u015fdan-ba\u015fa yalan dan\u0131\u015f\u0131r. Bir-birl\u0259rini \u00e7ox rahat aldad\u0131rlar, sonra \u00e7ox yax\u015f\u0131 bir-birl\u0259rinin \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcrl\u0259r, t\u0259zim edirl\u0259r, arxada qeyb\u0259t edib, sonra bir yerd\u0259 \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k k\u0259sirl\u0259r. Bu, m\u0259nim normalar\u0131ma uy\u011fun deyil v\u0259 m\u0259n bel\u0259 ya\u015famaq ist\u0259mir\u0259m. H\u0259rd\u0259n el\u0259 bilir\u0259m art\u0131q t\u00fck\u0259nmi\u015f\u0259m, missiyam da bitib. Fikirl\u0259\u015fir\u0259m ki, m\u0259n art\u0131q niy\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131ram? M\u0259n birc\u0259 evimd\u0259, u\u015faqlar\u0131m\u0131n, n\u0259v\u0259l\u0259rimin yan\u0131nda rahat oluram. G\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m qapana q\u0131s\u0131lm\u0131\u015fam, yoxam. Ba\u015f ver\u0259nl\u0259rl\u0259 raz\u0131la\u015fa bilmir\u0259m. M\u0259n bu otaqdan niy\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131ram? Kiminl\u0259s\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131la\u015fmay\u0131m, t\u0259z\u0259 yalan e\u015fitm\u0259yim, t\u0259z\u0259 al\u00e7aql\u0131q g\u00f6rm\u0259yim. \u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fc tamamil\u0259 m\u0259hdudla\u015fd\u0131rm\u0131\u015fam. \u00c7\u00fcnki b\u0259z\u0259n intihar h\u0259ddin\u0259 \u00e7at\u0131ram.<\/p>\n


\n <\/p>\n

…H\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 inan\u0131ram ki, d\u00fcnyada yax\u015f\u0131 adamlar var. Amma h\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 n\u0259s\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131r…<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n