![](\"https:\/\/qaynarinfo.az\/file\/pic\/xeber\/2020-05\/1590921754_1590921749_1590738481_1590738459_1590146736_1590146697_1589704153_1589704070_1589290658_1588155244_untitled-1.jpg\")
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Nazl\u0131 A\u011fayeva<\/span><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n Bir qara\u015f\u0131n, c\u0131rq\u0259n\u0259t q\u0131z varm\u0131\u015f. \u018fl-aya\u011fa dola\u015fmas\u0131n dey\u0259 anas\u0131 h\u0259r g\u00fcn onunla ba\u011fda t\u0259z\u0259 ev tik\u0259n ustaya \u00e7ay g\u00f6nd\u0259rirmi\u015f. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 q\u0131z \u00e7ay aparanda usta dam\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259yirmi\u015f. Yuxar\u0131 baxa-baxa onu xeyli \u00e7a\u011f\u0131ran q\u0131z bird\u0259n yerd\u0259ki tala\u015falara ili\u015fib y\u0131x\u0131l\u0131r. \u00c7aynik s\u0131n\u0131r, q\u0131z a\u011flama\u011fa ba\u015flay\u0131r. O anlarda i\u015fin\u0259 ara verib siqaretini odlayan usta a\u015fa\u011f\u0131dak\u0131 m\u0259nz\u0259r\u0259ni g\u00f6r\u00fcb damdan d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr. Q\u0131z\u0131 kiritm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131b: “A\u011flama bala, anana s\u00f6yl\u0259r\u0259m, \u00e7ayniki m\u0259n s\u0131nd\u0131rm\u0131\u015fam\u201d, \u2013 deyir. O zaman q\u0131z daha b\u0259rkd\u0259n h\u00f6nk\u00fcr\u00fcr:<\/p>\n
\u2013 \u00c7aynik\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 a\u011flam\u0131ram, s\u0259n e\u015fitmirs\u0259n dey\u0259 a\u011flay\u0131ram.<\/p>\n
O ax\u015fam o usta tut ara\u011f\u0131ndan vura-vura m\u0259rc g\u0259libmi\u015f ki, bu u\u015faq b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259nd\u0259 oxumu\u015f adam olacaq. Art\u0131q n\u0259 o usta h\u0259yatdad\u0131r, n\u0259 d\u0259 onun m\u0259rc g\u0259ldiyi adamlar. Sad\u0259c\u0259, \u00fcr\u0259yi ne\u00e7\u0259 yerd\u0259n \u00e7at vermi\u015f \u00e7aynik s\u0131nd\u0131ran q\u0131z qal\u0131b ki, ondan da h\u0259yat\u0131n x\u0259b\u0259ri yoxdur…\u00a0<\/p>\n
*<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n \u00d6z\u00fcmd\u0259n t\u0259xmin\u0259n iyirmi ya\u015f b\u00f6y\u00fck xalam o\u011fluna “day\u0131\u201d deyir\u0259m. Nec\u0259 ki, min m\u0259\u015f\u0259qq\u0259tl\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fctd\u00fcy\u00fc t\u0259k o\u011flunu xalam z\u0259hm\u0259t\u0259 al\u0131\u015fd\u0131rd\u0131. Day\u0131m\u0131n u\u015faqlar\u0131 da \u00f6z\u00fc kimi z\u0259hm\u0259tke\u015f, d\u00fcr\u00fcst b\u00f6y\u00fcd\u00fcl\u0259r. B\u00f6y\u00fck o\u011flu \u0259vv\u0259l m\u0259kt\u0259bin g\u00f6z\u00fc oldu, sonra ali m\u0259kt\u0259bin se\u00e7il\u0259n t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259n, n\u0259hay\u0259t, i\u015fl\u0259diyi yerl\u0259rd\u0259 ad qazand\u0131. Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 il eyni rayonda \u00e7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131q. Onlar g\u0259nc ail\u0259 olaraq, m\u0259n anamla b\u0259rab\u0259r ba\u015fqa-ba\u015fqa k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 kiray\u0259d\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131q. Anama d\u0259ym\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259rdil\u0259r tez-tez, onu evl\u0259rin\u0259 qonaq aparard\u0131lar. Qay\u0131dandan sonra anam hey allaha \u015f\u00fck\u00fcr ed\u0259rdi ki, onlara bel\u0259 bir m\u00fck\u0259mm\u0259l \u00f6vlad-n\u0259v\u0259 verib. “B\u0259s m\u0259n?\u201d dey\u0259 \u015fit\u0259n\u0259nd\u0259 anam da eyn\u0259n yar\u0131 zarafat-yar\u0131 ger\u00e7\u0259k dey\u0259rdi ki, s\u0259ni allah m\u0259nd\u0259n \u00e7ox bu camaata verib. \u00d6z\u00fcn-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 \u00e7atm\u0131rsan he\u00e7…<\/p>\n
Anam\u0131 anlay\u0131rd\u0131m. O, parlaq g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yi olan bacar\u0131ql\u0131 v\u0259kil idi, m\u0259nim perspektivim d\u0259 bel\u0259. Ke\u00e7mi\u015fd\u0259 q\u0259l\u0259ml\u0259 yazard\u0131m, sonralar komp\u00fcterd\u0259. Ke\u00e7mi\u015fd\u0259 adam evind\u0259 kiray\u0259\u00e7i idik, sonralar icra hakimiyy\u0259tinin tabeliyind\u0259 olan JEK k\u00f6\u015f\u0259sind\u0259.\u00a0<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n Anam onu m\u0259nd\u0259n \u00e7ox sev\u0259rdi. Atas\u0131n\u0131 da qarda\u015flar\u0131mdan. O u\u015faq anam\u0131n aman-zaman bac\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n b\u00fct\u00f6v \u00f6mr\u00fc qar\u015f\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131nda \u0259lind\u0259 qalan t\u0259k o\u011flunun n\u00fcbar \u00f6vlad\u0131 idi. M\u0259n o u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 h\u0259m d\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259vi z\u0259nginliyin\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 sev\u0259rdim. Anama “n\u0259n\u0259\u201d, m\u0259n\u0259 “bibi\u201d dey\u0259rdi. Daha demir, anam h\u0259yatda olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, m\u0259n is\u0259 h\u0259yat\u0131nda.\u00a0<\/p>\n
*<\/p>\n
Son d\u0259f\u0259 biz\u0259 on bir il \u0259vv\u0259l anam\u0131n h\u00fcz\u00fcr\u00fcn\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015fdi. M\u0259rasiml\u0259r bit\u0259nd\u0259n sonra bir pay\u0131z ax\u015fam\u0131 yava\u015fdan qap\u0131n\u0131 d\u00f6yd\u00fc. A\u011f\u0131r q\u0259zadan sonra bir ildi iki \u0259sa il\u0259 h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t edirdim. \u018fn d\u0259h\u015f\u0259tlisi is\u0259 daha anam yox idi. Anam\u0131n qoxusunu ala bil\u0259c\u0259yim xalam da.\u00a0<\/p>\n
B\u00f6y\u00fck \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fck i\u015fd\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259yirdi. \u00c7oxdand\u0131r g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015fdim, ol\u011funla\u015f\u0131b t\u0259mkinli, n\u00fcfuzedici \u015f\u0259xs\u0259 \u00e7evrilmi\u015fdi. O hal\u0131nda bir az uzaq g\u0259ldi m\u0259n\u0259. Amma \u00e7ox t\u0259sirl\u0259ndim. O da qar\u015f\u0131la\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131 m\u0259nz\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n m\u00fct\u0259\u0259ssir olmu\u015fdu. Oturdu\u011fu bir ne\u00e7\u0259 saatda bir d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 olsun telefonu \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rmad\u0131. S\u00f6nd\u00fcr\u00fcbm\u00fc\u015f. T\u0259l\u0259sdiyin\u0259, s\u00fcr\u00fcc\u00fc il\u0259 g\u0259ldiyin\u0259 aid birc\u0259 \u0259lam\u0259t hiss etdirm\u0259di. Tutqun s\u0259sl\u0259 vidala\u015f\u0131b getdi.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00d6t\u0259n yayda o da anas\u0131n\u0131 itirdi. Xalam\u0131n d\u00fcnyalar q\u0259d\u0259r sevdiyim v\u0259 x\u0259b\u0259rini ald\u0131\u011f\u0131mda u\u015faq kimi s\u0259sl\u0259 a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131m c\u0259fake\u015f g\u0259lini bizl\u0259ri t\u0259rk etdi. Yasda adam \u00e7ox idi. \u018fks\u0259riyy\u0259t “m\u00fc\u0259llimi\u201d g\u00f6rm\u0259k, ona g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn aya\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcr\u00fcy\u00fcrd\u00fc. M\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xanda iflic x\u0259st\u0259si day\u0131m\u0131 tap\u0131b, ona sar\u0131ld\u0131m.\u00a0 \u00a0<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n T\u0259brik \u0259v\u0259zi<\/p>\n
Son zamanlar \u0259traf\u0131nda yaranan t\u0131xac bu \u00f6lk\u0259d\u0259 \u0259n “t\u0259bii\u201d hald\u0131r. Titul, v\u0259zif\u0259 x\u0259st\u0259l\u0259ri an\u0131nda tutma\u011fa z\u0259if damar tap\u0131b virus kimi adam\u0131n can\u0131na i\u015fl\u0259yirl\u0259r. Yuxar\u0131dak\u0131lar bir c\u00fcr, a\u015fa\u011f\u0131dak\u0131lar ba\u015fqa c\u00fcr \u00fcr\u0259k buland\u0131r\u0131rlar. Bu h\u0259yat s\u0131na\u011f\u0131ndan da ke\u00e7\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u0130xtisas imtahanlar\u0131ndan nec\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m. Ald\u0131\u011f\u0131n qiym\u0259tl\u0259rin “amans\u0131z\u201d izl\u0259ri qan \u00e7ana\u011f\u0131na d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f g\u00f6zl\u0259rind\u0259n oxunard\u0131. S\u0259n o imtahanlara can\u0131n\u0131 qoydun. \u00c7\u00fcnki ordan ke\u00e7m\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015fqa bir \u015feyin yoxdu. V\u0259 h\u0259r \u015fey\u0259 r\u0259\u011fm\u0259n, h\u0259d\u0259find\u0259ki arzuya \u00e7ata bildin.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
Sonrak\u0131 ill\u0259rd\u0259, \u0259min\u0259m, x\u0259yallar\u0131ndak\u0131 \u0259dal\u0259tli hakimi h\u0259yata g\u0259tir\u0259 bilmis\u0259n. \u018fmin\u0259m s\u0259ni canlar\u0131 q\u0259d\u0259r sevib g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yin\u0259 g\u00fcv\u0259n\u0259n o iki n\u0259n\u0259ni unutmam\u0131san.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Onda qoy deyim bu yaz\u0131n\u0131 niy\u0259 m\u0259hz indi yazd\u0131m. Buralarda sad\u0259c\u0259 varli\u011f\u0131 il\u0259 d\u00fcnyan\u0131n \u00e7ox pislikl\u0259rini t\u0259miz\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xaracaq s\u0259lahiyy\u0259tli biri var. Bar\u0259nd\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fanda f\u0259xrimizdi, \u0259ziz-x\u0259l\u0259f “xalan\u0259v\u0259sidi\u201d deyir. Kims\u0259y\u0259 davran\u0131\u015f d\u0259rsi ver\u0259c\u0259k haqqa sahib deyil\u0259m. O hesabla g\u0259r\u0259k m\u0259n d\u0259 bunun yax\u0131n\u0131 olam m\u0259nas\u0131nda h\u0259y\u0259canland\u0131m. Yoxsa ki, h\u0259r yet\u0259nin ail\u0259 xatir\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259 n\u0259 i\u015fi vard\u0131…<\/p>\n
He\u00e7 vaxt s\u0259nd\u0259n he\u00e7 bir umaca\u011f\u0131m olmay\u0131b. Yaln\u0131z bir xahi\u015fim var, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc ger\u00e7\u0259k f\u00fcrs\u0259t\u00e7il\u0259rin saxta canf\u0259\u015fanl\u0131qlar\u0131ndan qoru. Bilir\u0259m, bu m\u00f6vzuda m\u0259nim s\u0259n\u0259 m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t verm\u0259yim l\u0259tif\u0259l\u0259rin \u0259n g\u00fclm\u0259lisidir…\u00a0<\/p>\n
M\u0259ni ciddiy\u0259 almayan anamla xalam daim s\u0259ni “b\u00f6y\u00fck adam\u201d qismind\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fcl\u0259r. M\u0259n is\u0259 qismi h\u0259l\u0259 uzaq ke\u015fmi\u015fd\u0259 s\u0259mimiyy\u0259t dolu orta m\u0259kt\u0259b in\u015falar\u0131ndan k\u0259\u015ff etmi\u015fdim. O k\u0259\u015ffin m\u00fc\u0259llif haqq\u0131n\u0131 itirm\u0259m\u0259k \u00fcmidi il\u0259:\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u2013 Yolun a\u00e7\u0131q olsun, oxumu\u015f-b\u00f6y\u00fck Adam…\u00a0<\/p>\n
P.S. Oxucular\u0131ma: Bu d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n, bir daha \u015f\u0259xsi z\u0259mind\u0259 yazmayacam.<\/b><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n
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